Friday, June 5, 2009

'Short' Shorts... (Part 4)

If anagrams didn't do it for you, how about twitter length (140 characters or less) film descriptions? The full-length descriptions are available at www.danceswithfilms.com - as are tickets! But for the time-challenged, here are some 'short' versions of DWF 2009's short films:
  • A DANCE OF TWO (June 10 5pm) The American Dream fulfilled, now-retired Ray seeks love/understanding from 30 year younger girlfriend Sylvia.
  • THE DEVIL’S MATCHMAKER (June 10 5pm) One man takes great pride in setting up couples whose last names form hideous & hilarious combinations.
  • LIFE IS LIKE A SHORT TRAIN RIDE (June 10 5pm) As life starts to come to a close, one might remember one’s parents, youth, growth and love.
  • MY BROTHER’S KEEPER (June 10 5pm) In 1970s Detroit, if Jimmy & Clarence don’t look out for one another, the city is gonna get a lot tougher.
  • OGLES WITH GOGGLES (June 10 5pm) A drunken one-night-stand recounted Dr.-Seuss-style with narration & dialogue full of alliteration & rhyme.
  • PROMOTION (June 10 5pm) Down on his luck and being passed over for a well-deserved promotion, Todd Miller tries to take his office hostage.
  • RECALL (June 10 5pm) A young woman is visited by a troubled childhood friend.
  • TWILIGHT TANGO (June 10 5pm) The story of a young couple in love. When the lights go out, every sleep disturbance imaginable besieges them.
  • WORTH (June 10 5pm) A non-descript violin at an upscale auction is wildly out of place. Who decides what something/someone is really worth?

'Short' Shorts... (Part 3)

If anagrams didn't do it for you, how about twitter length (140 characters or less) film descriptions? The full-length descriptions are available at www.danceswithfilms.com - as are tickets! But for the time-challenged, here are some 'short' versions of DWF 2009's short films:
  • A GREY EULOGY (June 8 5pm) Mekala, a mentally handicapped girl, attends her mother’s funeral & delivers an impromptu heart-rendering eulogy.
  • ALL DRESSED UP (June 8 5pm) Quirky Daphne’s love of costumes gives her another chance at love after a series of hilarious dating disasters.
  • BRICKS AND ASHES (June 8 5pm) In the old west, vengeance is served daily, good & evil are blurred & characters clash with dangerous results.
  • CAPES (June 8 5pm) In his quest for salvation, a man plummets to the depths of primal Hell & ultimately finds peace & camaraderie in death.
  • COCHRAN (June 8 5pm) Jim Cochran hates his job. One fateful day, a decision to pick up something he finds in the woods will change his life.
  • THE COLLECTOR (June 8 5pm) In the last hours of life, an aging man reminisces & realizes that the things worth collecting are uncollectible.
  • CROSS-EYED DINNER THEATER PRESENTS! (June 8 5pm) Protesters threaten to shut down the dinner theater’s production of ‘Death of a Salesman’.
  • DANIEL FINDS HIS WALKING STICK (June 8 5pm) A funny & sad portrait of an aging, lonely man suffering from Alzheimer’s in a changing world.
  • GAMES (June 8 5pm) Nathan doesn't care for the outside world. He’s satisfied with his games & his thoughts. That is, until Karen shows up.
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  • THE BOOK OF TOMORROW (June 9 5pm) Billy Allen must deal with being the new kid in town. He discovers a comic book that reveals the future.
  • THE CROOKED EYE (June 9 5pm) Sharon struggles with a recent divorce & current perception problem; adapted from Betty Malicoat's short story.
  • ENIGMA (June 9 5pm) A simple mission for transport ship Genesis has become a mystery: All hands on board have been killed. But how, and why?
  • RAIN RAIN (June 9 5pm) Ginny Nallion discovers a family secret & her dreary life becomes a fantastic adventure, at least ‘til Mom gets home!

'Short' Shorts... (Part 2)

If anagrams didn't do it for you, how about twitter length (140 characters or less) film descriptions? The full-length descriptions are available at www.danceswithfilms.com - as are tickets! But for the time-challenged, here are some 'short' versions of DWF 2009's short films:
  • HEAD TO LOVE (June 7 12:30pm) Captivated by a mural, an artist & his friend accept an invitation to meet the model under one odd condition.
  • IN TREES (June 7 12:30pm) Driving through backwoods, a father tells his children a scary tale about spirits in trees that feed on humans.
  • INTERPRETATION (June 7 12:30pm) A couple’s encounter with some philosophical thugs unfolds in an unusual way. Everyone learns something new.
  • JENNY GOT A BOOB JOB (June 7 12:30pm) High school nobody Jenny goes for an emergency tonsillectomy but accidentally gets double D implants.
  • LE PRIX À PAYER [THE PRICE TO PAY] (June 7 12:30pm) Crime movie with jazz music, a beautiful car & a beautiful girl - in the trunk of a car.
  • MANNEN MED KULORNA [THE MAN WITH ALL THE MARBLES] (June 7 12:30pm) Rivalry of brothers: Håkan runs the family business; Martin is homeless.
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  • THE DEPOSITION OF LOU BAGETTA (June 7 5pm) Lou Bagetta’s peaceful night is interrupted by fellow gangster Joey Gusto and a battle of wits.
  • THE INTRUDER (June 7 5pm) An uneventful evening takes a frightening turn when a woman discovers a horrific truth.
  • MONEY, PLEASE! (June 7 5pm) As the Studebakers play their favorite American real estate board game, actual economic issues begin to develop.
  • SHADOW.NET (June 7 5pm) Greg McKenna (Screen Name: DECKARD) is a member of a top-secret online piracy group known only as 'Damage' or DMG.
  • THE THESPIAN RETURNS (June 7 5pm) Martin Klempe, the world’s greatest actor (in his own mind), returns to wreak more on-set havoc than ever.

'Short' Shorts... (Part 1)

If anagrams didn't do it for you, how about twitter length (140 characters or less) film descriptions? The full-length descriptions are available at www.danceswithfilms.com - as are tickets! But for the time-challenged, here are some 'short' versions of DWF 2009's short films:
  • A SHORT RECESS (June 6 12:30pm) A tense meeting between 2 strangers turns into exploration of status & social aspects of smoking cigarettes.
  • BEING HANDY (June 6 12:30pm) The incredible story of a hand named Handy that will do everything possible to become the best writer ever.
  • BOTTLED UP (June 6 12:30pm) Charles & Myra visit the desert to reignite their marriage, but are detoured by Peach & deranged boyfriend Max.
  • CAPTAIN (June 6 12:30pm) A story about a teacher who concocts a cruel tale to make one of his students access the deeper parts of himself.
  • CARPE DIEM (June 6 12:30pm) Meek clerk John Wilson receives notes that make him question existence. His manager propels him to an epiphany.
  • GOODBYE, NICE TO MEET YOU (June 6 12:30pm) Two people meet by chance on their last day alive & spend it living out their craziest fantasies.
  • PISSING VOCAL GOLD (June 6 12:30pm) Voice-over artist Dick Romans has made a fortune; but off script, his mouth always gets him in trouble.
  • TURN RIGHT (June 6 12:30pm) An executive must get to an important meeting, but the rental car’s GPS has a French accent & a mind of its own.
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  • ARTIFICIALLY SPEAKING (June 6 5pm) Where do we get artificial fruit flavoring? Terry Thistlewaite finds the truth about artificial fruit.
  • BEAUTY AND THE BISTRO (June 6 5pm) Suz eats anything & looks like a super-model. Monica can gain 10 pounds just by smelling chocolate cake.
  • EL RELOJERO [THE CLOCKMAKER’S REVELATION] (June 6 5pm) A young clockmaker focuses on her own concepts of time as clocks build up around her.
  • THE EVENT (June 6 5pm) An Event waits for you in your future. When the Event happens, everything will change. So be ready and be strong.
  • FISH & CHIP (June 6 5pm) A game of mermaid tag goes horribly wrong.
  • HELP WANTED (June 6 5pm) Hard-working mechanic Ramon hires inexperienced young Juan & learns from his tragedy and ways of coping with loss.
  • KING OF THE RING (June 6 5pm) Follow the struggle of the only female to dare enter the deadly circle in a quest to become King of the Ring.
  • MAGIC CHALK (June 6 5pm) A singing gypsy sells a simple piece of white chalk to a little girl, and gives her the power to change the world.
  • MASHED POTATOES (June 6 5pm) Set in 1974, the story of one dancer passionately vying to win the final spot on the new dance show Soul Stage.
  • THE MOTH AND THE FIREFLY (June 6 5pm) A moth loses its lamplight in a citywide blackout; soon it finds a firefly & they light up the night.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

'Short' Films... (Part 2)

If anagrams didn't do it for you, how about twitter length (140 characters or less) film descriptions? The full-length descriptions are available at www.danceswithfilms.com - as are tickets! (Get your tickets before June 4 for discounted prices!) But for the time-challenged, here are some 'short' versions of DWF 2009's feature length films and documentaries:
  • ALPHONSO BOW (June 8 2:45pm) A brick layer / ex male-exotic-dancer & an older brick salesman argue on taboo topics in a family restaurant.
  • MISS OHIO (June 8 7:15pm) On a spree of exploration after her marriage falls apart, Natalie turns to a local church to search for happiness.
  • PARK SHARKS (June 8 9:30pm) A college student writes their thesis on the Darwinist courting techniques of the ‘Park Sharks’ pick-up artists.
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  • THE LAST HURRAH (June 9 7:15pm) For some brainy grad students, tonight’s house party is their last crack at the philosophy department women.
  • MY NORMAL (June 9 9:30pm) Young lesbian Natalie struggles to find balance between dreams of becoming a filmmaker & her dominatrix lifestyle.
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  • CALLOUS (June 10 2:45pm) Garrett Blackfoot is consumed with best intentions for his daughter & the shadows of his Native American heritage.
  • POPATOPOLIS (June 10 7:15pm) Infamous director Jim Wynorski attempts to make a film in 3 days. His philosophy: A Big Chase & A Big Chest.
  • THE SCAR CROW (June 10 9:30pm) City guys on an all expenses paid company trip to the middle of nowhere meet the 3 mysterious Tanner sisters.
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  • CAMOUFLAGE (June 11 2:45pm) Corey struggles to survive the horrifying military-style boot camp discipline of demented counselor, Stanley.
  • THE DIVIDED (June 11 5pm) An Army Special Ops officer posted in the Middle East returns home; his sister is engaged to an anti-war activist.
  • SVEENER & THE SHMIEL (June 11 7:15pm) Social outcasts build a giant machine to take them back to their planet; but The Shmiel falls in love.
  • EDGAR ALLAN POE’S ANNABEL LEE (June 11 9:30pm) Artist Jack Blythe paints a beautiful stranger resembling a woman presumed dead for 18 years.

'Short' Films... (Part 1)

If anagrams didn't do it for you, how about twitter length (140 characters or less) film descriptions? The full-length descriptions are available at www.danceswithfilms.com - as are tickets! (Get your tickets before June 4 for discounted prices!) But for the time-challenged, here are some 'short' versions of DWF 2009's feature length films and documentaries:
  • MYTHIC JOURNEYS (June 4 7pm) An ancient tale about a noble king charged with the grim task of delivering a corpse to a mysterious sorcerer.
  • BEING MICHAEL MADSEN (June 4 9:15pm) Madsen turns the tables on paparazzo Billy Dant, hiring filmmakers to chronicle Dant's life & troubles.
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  • AUTODOC (June 5 2:45pm) When fame strikes a group of artists, the lines between personal/commercial & life/art, become alarmingly blurred.
  • JOY (June 5 5pm) Joy, Marie & Marie set out on the anniversary of their father’s death & find the meaning of their lives at a grocery store.
  • LOVE CONQUERS PAUL (June 5 7:15pm) Paul researches women & stages chance encounters. He then genuinely meets a woman, who also has a secret.
  • CORPSE RUN (June 5 9:30pm) In 30 years a family will no longer sit around the TV; they’ll enter virtual worlds of competition & cooperation.
  • THE COMMUNE (June 5 11:45pm) Isolated on a sinister commune with adults gone mad, Jenny confronts her guru-father’s evil agenda & followers.
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  • MY MOVIE GIRL (June 6 10:30am) Everything Adam knows about love he learned from the movies. But he’s no Cary Grant to unrequited love, Kate.
  • MOMZ HOT ROCKS (June 6 2:45pm) A look at mom rock bands: how MOMz take on the world, manage full lives & make music to rock your socks off.
  • CRYPTIC (June 6 7:15pm) An old cellphone allows Jessie to speak with her younger self; as she alters her past her future plunges into chaos.
  • HOW I GOT LOST (June 6 9:30pm) Jake & Andrew ditch New York & hit the road. Sometimes you have to get lost to figure out where you're going.
  • FINALE (June 6 11:45pm) Though the death of her son is labeled a suicide, his mother believes there are darker, supernatural forces at work.
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  • AT THE EDGE OF THE WORLD (June 7 2:45pm) The Farley Mowat & Robert Hunter crews aim to stop an illegal whaling fleet in the Antarctic Ocean.
  • WAKING DREAMS (June 7 7:15pm) 1st-generation Indian-American Latha takes a job at a video game company; her parents want her to be a doctor.
  • TINY LITTLE LIES (June 7 9:30pm) Artist Michael Taylor discovers his wife murdered; downstairs, 2 wealthy fans consider purchasing his work.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Wise Choices

In this age of twittering and text messaging, patience is short and our brainwaves can be cluttered, so I thought I would share with you a quick way to sift through all the choices set before you – say, for example, deciding which films you should see at Dances With Films this year (June 5th to 11th, FYI).

Now, one could just read the summaries of each film and make a choice based on what appeals to one’s film-going sensibilities, but why use such a traditional method? Let me suggest an alternative...

Anagrams.

Now before you scoff too loudly and bother someone, consider these classic examples of filmic anagramdom: if you rearrange the letters of ‘Clint Eastwood’, you get (naturally) ‘Old West Action’ – and ‘Alec Guinness’, is it any wonder, turns into ‘Genuine Class.’

So, if anagramming can give you insight into a person’s true nature, why not for a film?

Using this perfectly intelligent line of reasoning, I’ve determined the true nature and the hidden secrets of some of this year’s fine film programming:

  • AUTODOC (Friday June 5th, 2:45pm) may be about “a group of artists in the California desert who set out to film and document their lives and art”, but obviously the true nature of the film must have something to do with the bonds over friendship and food... I mean, you can’t argue with the fact that the title rearranges into ‘TACO DUO’.
  • That’s not the only food-related anagrammic undercurrent this year – take CORPSE RUN (Friday June 5th, 9:30pm) for example... Perhaps “video games are overtaking the world as we speak,” but the real mystery obviously must be about some nefarious object known only as the ‘CORN PURSE’.
  • With THE COMMUNE (Friday June 5th, 11:45pm), “Jenny finds herself isolated on a sinister commune with adults gone mad.” Obviously the theme of ‘fowl play’ must play a part in the film, but if this ‘HEN COMMUTE’ turns out to just be an extended metaphor of why (or how?) the chicken crossed the road, I’m not sure how I’ll feel when I leave the theater.
  • Looking ahead to THE SCAR CROW (Wednesday June 10th, 9:30pm), where “four city guys find themselves on an all expenses paid company trip to the middle of nowhere” and meet the Tanner sisters who are “friendly, open and warm, but all is not as it seems...” the only conclusion I can safely draw (and I do hate to spoil it for you, but I will anyway), is that I better get out my hooks and worsted weight, and when the ‘CROCHET WARS’ are over I may walk out with a new view about life – and maybe a scarf as well. (Bonus!)

There’s a week left until the festival starts, so choose your films wisely!


(Or just choose them all! That’s an easy solution, too.)

Cheers! – Wendy