Friday, May 29, 2009

Wise Choices

In this age of twittering and text messaging, patience is short and our brainwaves can be cluttered, so I thought I would share with you a quick way to sift through all the choices set before you – say, for example, deciding which films you should see at Dances With Films this year (June 5th to 11th, FYI).

Now, one could just read the summaries of each film and make a choice based on what appeals to one’s film-going sensibilities, but why use such a traditional method? Let me suggest an alternative...

Anagrams.

Now before you scoff too loudly and bother someone, consider these classic examples of filmic anagramdom: if you rearrange the letters of ‘Clint Eastwood’, you get (naturally) ‘Old West Action’ – and ‘Alec Guinness’, is it any wonder, turns into ‘Genuine Class.’

So, if anagramming can give you insight into a person’s true nature, why not for a film?

Using this perfectly intelligent line of reasoning, I’ve determined the true nature and the hidden secrets of some of this year’s fine film programming:

  • AUTODOC (Friday June 5th, 2:45pm) may be about “a group of artists in the California desert who set out to film and document their lives and art”, but obviously the true nature of the film must have something to do with the bonds over friendship and food... I mean, you can’t argue with the fact that the title rearranges into ‘TACO DUO’.
  • That’s not the only food-related anagrammic undercurrent this year – take CORPSE RUN (Friday June 5th, 9:30pm) for example... Perhaps “video games are overtaking the world as we speak,” but the real mystery obviously must be about some nefarious object known only as the ‘CORN PURSE’.
  • With THE COMMUNE (Friday June 5th, 11:45pm), “Jenny finds herself isolated on a sinister commune with adults gone mad.” Obviously the theme of ‘fowl play’ must play a part in the film, but if this ‘HEN COMMUTE’ turns out to just be an extended metaphor of why (or how?) the chicken crossed the road, I’m not sure how I’ll feel when I leave the theater.
  • Looking ahead to THE SCAR CROW (Wednesday June 10th, 9:30pm), where “four city guys find themselves on an all expenses paid company trip to the middle of nowhere” and meet the Tanner sisters who are “friendly, open and warm, but all is not as it seems...” the only conclusion I can safely draw (and I do hate to spoil it for you, but I will anyway), is that I better get out my hooks and worsted weight, and when the ‘CROCHET WARS’ are over I may walk out with a new view about life – and maybe a scarf as well. (Bonus!)

There’s a week left until the festival starts, so choose your films wisely!


(Or just choose them all! That’s an easy solution, too.)

Cheers! – Wendy